I think I’ve finally come across a start that I’m happy with. The book will open with the main character guy on his way to work. I’ll see what I can do about introducing some characters and giving my reader a look into main character guy’s persona. MCG will stay late at work and start talking to the bird like he has 100 times before. The bird, finally sick and tired of listening to this crap, finally snaps and talks back.

Kay, so the bird has been changed. The bird will now be like 400 years old, and able to talk. The bird; however, has a very strong fear of being dissected, so he doesn’t talk to anyone except the main character guy. The bird tells him a bunch of stories about how he was a pirate’s parrot, a carrier pigeon, and shit like that. They sound pretty outlandish and the main character guy half-thinks that the bird is fucking with him. Bird has the idea that he wants to be worshiped as a god like Quetzalcoatl of the Aztecs or Horus/Ra of the Ancient Egyptians. The bird is one of a kind, but definitely needs a stupid name. Something like the striped and spotted warbler owl. Something ridiculous.

Main character guy stays late at the office one night and starts telling the bird about a woman problem. This is when the bird initializes conversation for the first time. The plot and the story are going to revolve around the bird, I think. I need some sort of main conflict for the bird to have. Something simple like trying to get laid or complex like trying to become worshiped as The Bird God. He’s still going to have to fly the coop and head to vegas though. There’s nothing more funny than a 400 year old smart-assed bird passed out on the side of the road strung out on crack and bird hookers.